Groin Strikes, eye gouges, and other maiming techniques in self defense

The groin kick

Kicking a man in the groin will usually cause a lot of pain. It is certainly effective in combat, but it's not a martial panacea.

You may have heard this before: "Training in a martial art like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is useless for self defense, because you can just attack their groin or gouge their eyes - game over".

These techniques are almost universally banned in sports, which is taken by some to mean that in reality, martial arts like BJJ are ineffective in situations outside the ring where there are no rules. I believe this view is misguided.

The Mount, a dominant position for the fighter on top

There is a common saying in BJJ schools: position before submission. It's a fundamental tenet of the style.

Those of us who train BJJ spend a lot of time learning how to improve our position. From a dominant position we can attack and control our opponent, while it is very difficult for them to do the same to us from an inferior position.

Note that position before submission does not mean improving and maintaining position is more important than actually finishing the fight - defeating the opponent is always paramount.  But in order to win, putting ourselves at a great advantage by taking up a position such as the mount will greatly increase our chances of winning. Victory from a bad position is very difficult indeed.

When we add striking to the ground game, exactly the same principle applies. We should strive to achieve a dominant position if we want to employ the most effective strikes: it's position before striking. Doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but whatever.

Many people think that a groin grab would nullify all this. But again, we need to remember: position before groin attack. Watch Keith Hackney establish side control and cause some "discomfort" with a groin attack on Joe Son at UFC 4, way back when groin strikes were permitted:

Now, I can imagine some who may watch that video and say that Joe Son could have eye-gouged Keith. But they'd be forgetting our principle - from a dominant position, it's easier to eye gouge too. From side control, Keith would be better able to control Joe and eye gouge him, rather than the other way around. Quite simply, those who are better at establishing a dominant position on the ground are better able to apply any kind of technique.

When inventing techniques for self defense, people tend to get a little groin-crazy and at times will substitute more effective techniques for something which may be less effective in reality because there is a blind belief that going for the gonads is a lot easier and more devastating than it really is. A good example is the video below:

It's actually quite difficult to access the groin with a decent strike from that position. There are much more effective ways to bring someone down for a reversal. Also, pulling the hair in the way they've demonstrated allows the top fighter to post an arm out during the roll, which is the most common way of countering it.

Here is an interesting video where Rorion Gracie fights a Hapkido instructor who attempts to grab his groin twice from an inferior position (Rorion's comment about BJJ being the only style to effectively address ground fighting is just typical Gracie self-promotion, you can disregard that):

And an amusing little experiment where a young man bravely puts his balls on the line in the name of science:

One more video about balls for you. Draculino expresses his opinion about groin attacks and positional strategy.

Yuki Nakai

Apart from forgetting about position and the tendency of some to substitute more effective techniques for less effective ones, there is another problem. Even when you do apply an eye or groin attack successfully, your opponent may not be instantly finished.

In 1995, Yuki Nakai entered an MMA knockout tournament, and his first opponent was Gerard Gordeau. Gerard illegally eye gouged Yuki, which left him permanently blind in his right eye. Yuki continued to fight and won by heel hook in the fourth round.

His next opponent that night was Craig Pittman, an american wrestler with a 100 pound weight advantage. Yuki won via armbar.

In the third and final bout, Yuki fought BJJ legend Rickson Gracie and lost at 6:22 in the first round via rear naked choke.

The reason I've been using the word maim in the first place, is because by that I mean something which causes an injury which may or may not be serious, but doesn't necessarily incapacitate your opponent. There is no guarantee that maiming will end a fight.

But please make sure you read this part carefully - There's nothing wrong with maiming per se.

In fact, many techniques from styles such as Judo, Sambo, BJJ and catch wrestling are maiming techniques too: an armbar when executed to completion is no longer a submission (where one fighter gives up before serious injury and the fight stops). It actually results in a broken or dislocated arm - congrats, you've just maimed your opponent.

Also, in the same way Yuki fought on with a damaged eye, a fighter with a badly damaged limb can sometimes continue fighting. Forrest Griffin broke his arm in an MMA fight, only to come back and win by knockout. Randy couture did the same thing vs Gabriel Gonzaga. There is a long list of such instances.

So why use maiming techniques at all if the enemy may happily fight on and defeat you? Well, now you're fighting someone with an injury. Obviously, this may help you gain the upper hand in a real fight. There's no reason a submission fighter has to stop after the first break - you may break their other arm, gouge their eyes and break their legs, too.

Maiming isn't the end goal (that is, in the typical street fight or self defense situation we usually imagine). It simply helps us towards incapacitating our opponent, or at least making them give up. If it is too difficult to finish them off immediately, the next best option may be to "soften them up" with injuries until it's possible to apply a finishing technique.

It's a common strategy in combat sports. One may have to break down the other fighter for a number of rounds before scoring a knockout or submission. Ideally, the fight would be over as fast as possible. But we don't always have that luxury against a similarly skilled opponent.

I've focused mostly on grappling. What about striking? Could you just kick a Muay Thai fighter in the nuts to nullify everything they have learned such as timing, judgment of distance, ability to read body movements to predict their opponent's next move, power, speed, mental and physical toughness, conditioning, feints, combinations? Or maybe they'll be better at kicking the groin than someone who has only kicked a stationary pad at groin height in their training?

OK, one more testicle video. This is yours truly copping a massive knee which lifted me off the ground and bent my groin guard inside out. I dropped to the ground partly because it hurt a lot, but more because I was scared that my testicles had been crushed. I wanted to make sure that everything was OK down there. I was a little slower after returning to the match, but what bothered me more at the time was the fact that I hurt my ankle when a kick landed with my toes. Skip to the 5 minute mark if you want to see the knee.

Remember, I'm not saying groin strikes or eye gouges are ineffective. I'm saying they need to be considered from a broader strategic perspective. Despite what some may have you believe, testicles are not the answer to every martial problem from every position in every situation.

UPDATE: This article has been published on Bullshido and there is some interesting discussion in the comments section.

Dog chasing a roo oil painting is now for sale

I recently brought this painting back from an exhibition it was featured in. It's now up for sale here:

Dog chasing a roo on madeit.com

Dog Chasing a Roo - Oil and Ochre on Canvas

Logo design for Rooted Films

This was designed for Rooted Films.

Nude, oil on canvas added to online store

Just added this nude to my Madeit.com store.

Painted it a few years ago when I had access to nude models at uni.

80cm X 60cm.

Martial arts made me a better artist

Stages of artistic mastery

And art made me a better martial artist.

One thing I've worked hard on improving is my martial skill. For years I've studied technique in the gym under coaches, with sparring partners, read text books, watched videos, entered full contact competition, attended seminars. When I find a hole in my game, I isolate it and work on patching it up. When I lost a match as a white belt in BJJ because someone got side control and just held me down, my coach made me start in that disadvantageous position in class every time until I could successfully escape. I've applied that same method ever since.

There is always something to learn, there is always something to improve on. Perfection cannot be attained, but I strive towards it. I need to be humble and admit what my faults are before I can fix them. I seek out the best for their advice, and I accept that they are better than me. Talent isn't delivered by a fairy while you sleep - the only way to be better is to work more.

Then it occurred to me: why the fuck aren't I applying the same attitude to my artwork? why haven't I obsessively tried to improve my technique since finishing my Fine Arts degree? I now see the degree like attaining my blue belt - it's just the beginning. It only means I've got a handle on a few fundamentals, yet these fundamentals will still take a lifetime to master. I felt fine with the skills I had developed in art, but was never satisfied with my martial skill.

Now these interests both inform each other. And everything else.

The chart I've posted here could apply to anything. I'd perhaps change a couple of things, but the general idea is right. We delude ourselves into thinking we are better than we are, we make excuses for our inadequacies and we need to wake up and break out of that. Be an eternal student.

Why you love big tits and get addicted to video games

It's also why art works.


Supernormal Stimuli.

A supernormal stimulus or superstimulus is an exaggerated version of a stimulus to which there is an existing response tendency, or any stimulus that elicits a response more strongly than the stimulus for which it evolved. 

For example, a moth will spiral into a flame because it is adapted to navigate by the sun (a much more distant lightsource). When it comes to eggs, a bird can be made to prefer the artificial versions to their own,[1] and humans can be similarly exploited by junk food.[2] The idea is that the elicited behaviours evolved for the "normal" stimuli of the ancestor's natural environment, but the behaviours are now hijacked by the supernormal stimulus. 

The concept is derived from ethology. Konrad Lorenz observed that birds would select for brooding eggs that resembled those of their own species but were larger. Niko Tinbergen, following his extensive analysis of the stimulus features that elicited food-begging in the chick of the Herring Gull, constructed an artificial stimulus consisting of a red knitting needle with three white bands painted round it; this elicited a stronger response than an accurate three-dimensional model of the parent's head (white) and bill (yellow with a red spot).[3] Tinbergen and his students studied other variations this effect. He experimented with dummy plaster eggs of various sizes and markings finding that most birds preferred ones with more exaggerated markings than their own, more saturated versions of their color, and a larger size than their own. Small songbirds which laid light blue grey-dappled eggs preferred to sit on a bright blue black polka-dotted dummy so large they slid off repeatedly. Territorial male stickleback fish would attack wooden floats with red undersides—attacking them more vigorously than invading male sticklebacks if the underside were redder.[1] 

Lorenz and Tinbergen accounted for the supernormal stimulus effect in terms of the concept of the innate releasing mechanism; however this concept is no longer widely used. The core observation that simple features of stimuli may be sufficient to trigger a complex response remains valid, however.

Harvard psychologist Deirdre Barrett argues that supernormal stimulation govern the behavior of humans as powerfully as that of animals. In her 2010 book, Supernormal Stimuli: How Primal Urges Overran Their Evolutionary Purpose,[4] she examines the impact of supernormal stimuli on the diversion of impulses for nurturing, sexuality, romance, territoriality, defense, and the entertainment industry’s hijacking of our social instincts. In the earlier book, Waistland,[2] she explains junk food as an exaggerated stimulus to cravings for salt, sugar, and fats and television as an exaggeration of social cues of laughter, smiling faces and attention-grabbing action. Modern artifacts may activate instinctive responses which evolved in a world without magazine centerfolds or double cheeseburgers, where breast development was a sign of health and fertility in a prospective mate, and fat was a rare and vital nutrient.

An episode of the PBS science show NOVA showed an Australian beetle species whose males were sexually attracted to large and orange females—the larger and more orange the better. This became a problem when the males started to attempt to mate with certain beer bottles that were just the right color. The males were more attracted to the bottles than actual females.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supernormal_Stimuli

yes, you're a slave to your biology. but once you understand that, you are better prepared to stop it from fucking you over.

On the disconnect between scientific and public opinion

No one has the time to become an expert on everything.

With the division of labour, individuals can develop skills in a specific discipline to a much higher degree than if we were to learn them all - we're no longer a "jacks of all trades, masters of none". We now have modern societies where specialised individuals have to rely completely on each other for even for the most basic and fundamental needs.

There's nothing wrong with that. Division of labour is closely associated with increased productivity, the rise of capitalism, and... the modern world, really. When someone spends their entire life perfecting skills in anything, it benefits us all. You don't have to invent the telephone and microwave by yourself. You don't need to build your own house or fix your own car. You don't have to develop an antibiotic and fashion a syringe to administer it - there are experts you can turn to who will do a much better job than you ever could.

So, every day we depend on the opinions of experts. Some might claim this is an appeal to authority, a logical fallacy: since they are a figure of authority, they cannot be wrong. For example, it would be silly to accept that the earth is flat simply because the prime minister of Australia said so.

But it is not fallacious when a consensus exists among legitimate experts on a particular matter in their field of specialisation.

Scientific consensus is not in itself a scientific argument, and it is not part of the scientific method. But for those of us who are not expert scientists on the subject in question, it is the best way to gain an understanding of the current state of the science. No need to point out that science cannot be decided by popular vote - scientific consensus is entirely different from a poll of public opinion.

A scientific consensus also lets us avoid putting all our eggs in one expert's basket. For laypeople, it is much better to understand the scientific consensus, rather than the opinions of a single scientist. A quote from Brian Dunning, author of the Skeptoid podcast:

When you hear any claim validated by the fact that some "scientists" support it, be skeptical. You need to know who they are, what their interest is, and especially what the preponderance of opinion in the scientific community is. You need to know if the scientist being quoted actually has anything to do with this particular subject, or if his specialty is in an unrelated field. Look to see if this scientist has authored a good number of publications on the subject in legitimate peer-reviewed journals. Find out what other published scientists in his field say about him. Determine whether his views are generally in line with the preponderance of opinion among his peers in his discipline. Fringe opinions are on the fringe for a reason: they're usually wrong.

Read the complete article here: Scientists Are Not Created Equal

Unfortunately, most people are not very good at gathering an accurate impression of scientific opinion. Few know what peer review is or how it works, and many develop strong opinions about scientific matters despite having poor knowledge.

Added to this, even when we do receive information from scientists, we tend to choose those experts who agree with our preconceptions.

...scientific opinion fails to quiet societal dispute on such issues not because members of the public are unwilling to defer to experts but because culturally diverse persons tend to form opposing perceptions of what experts believe. Individuals systematically overestimate the degree of scientific support for positions they are culturally predisposed to accept as a result of a cultural availability effect that influences how readily they can recall instances of expert endorsement of those positions.

Cultural cognition of scientific consensus

This results in instances where some people decide that the majority of experts agree with their opinion, when in truth it's the opposite. If 97% of experts are in a consensus, they'll simply listen to the 3% who support their views. A disconnect between scientific and public opinion develops.

Apparently, that's just how human brains work.

In a famous 1950s psychology experiment, researchers showed students from two Ivy League colleges a film of an American football game between their schools in which officials made a series of controversial decisions against one side. Asked to make their own assessments, students who attended the offending team's college reported seeing half as many illegal plays as did students from the opposing institution.

Fixing the communications failure

So what exactly am I getting at? Another quote from the above article should explain:

the goal... is not to induce public acceptance of any particular conclusion, but rather to create an environment for the public’s openminded, unbiased consideration of the best available scientific information.

This is all I want. I'm not sure exactly what will solve the problem. But I'm working on an idea which will hopefully help those who don't have the time or inclination to read hundreds of scientific articles in an attempt to get a solid grasp of scientific opinion.

Old animations from university

These were made many years ago while I was studying some multimedia subjects at uni.

Illustrations for an online store

I did illustrations and designed a site for a Sydney fashion boutique, clueless international a couple of years ago.

The most challenging thing was creating something the client liked. I really have no idea about fashion.

The reality of creative industry education, and the struggle to become employable

An old uni friend of mine wrote this in response to a newly graduated multimedia student who was having trouble finding a job and asked for some advice.

He was mostly speaking about 3D and VFX, but what he says applies all creative industry fields in my opinion.

It's groundhog day!

Every 3 months like clockwork a student or grad writes an email just like yours. Every time this happens my first though is - which half-assed school has dropped the ball here and failed to provide even a basic grounding to their students as to the reality of getting employable in this industry? Your email also suggests that you have not proactively pushed your skills far past what is taught in class, which is pretty much a requirement for landing a junior role in 3D or VFX at any studio. You cannot simply turn up to class and expect your school to teach you all you need to know, this attitude will get you nowhere.

Technically I can use Photoshop, indesign, illustrator, Flash, Aftereffects and Dreamweaver, technically I can use cinema 4d but in practice...

From an employers perspective you probably cannot use any of these programs at what they would consider a strong junior level. Your education has been generalist to the point of being irrelevant, and has given you a shallow introduction to software and skills covering 25 different job roles spanning 4 completely separate career paths.

ie-
Photoshop, Indesign and Illustrator - Graphic Design
Dreamweaver and Flash - Web design
Aftereffects - VFX and Compositing
Cinema 4D - 3D production

These days all of these career paths split off into more specialized career paths even at the junior level, especially 3D. Medium to large studios want junior; animators, modellers, riggers, lighters, TD's etc etc. They want to see a showreel that demonstrates a high level of skill in just one or two areas, which is only possible if you dedicate yourself to that specialty for 6, 12 or 18 months exclusively. The same is true to a lesser extent with the other careers- junior graphic design, web and VFX roles are not generic entry level opportunities where any graduate will do- they want to see that you already have strong skills in some areas relating to that career path.

Soooo when you study all of these things at the same time you are not studying a single job role, you are studying 25 separate and distinct job roles simultaneously across 4 separate careers which is why you are likely totally unemployable at any of these roles. Students who self-specialized or who are graduating from dedicated web design, Graphic design, FX or 3D courses will have a dramatically higher level of skill in their area of focus and so will be far better choices for junior studio roles than you will be.

NO employer actually wants or expects junior staff to work across web, graphic design, 3D and VFX simultaneously- this is a delusion chased by half-assed schools who have no real comprehension of what employers want, and no interest in preparing students for the real world. Courses are created this way because it's cheap and easy for arts schools to cobble together these generalist courses from pre-existing classes, teachers and infrastructure, not because it's the best way to make a student employable. Teaching shallow introductions to multiple software packages is easy and allows teachers and students to be largely interchangeable, as opposed to teaching high level skills which requires expensive staff, serious curriculum's and dedicated students.

Employers already know that most CG and VFX education in this country sucks. They know that most schools run unfocused carpet-bombing campaigns that typically produce generalist grads who are months or years away from being employable. It is not the responsibility of the industry to clean up this mess by offering 6 months internships left right and center- it's your job to train and teach yourself to the point where you are worth employing. Also you need to realize that you are entering an extremely competitive industry where there are 4 grads for every entry level job. This is NOT an industry where just because you graduated from some course (even a good one) that means you are ready to work, or can expect to land a job right away.

Most people who graduate from 3D and VFX courses are unemployable. A high proportion of grads will never work in this industry. Your story is repeated 500 times a year, and most DLF readers can probably recite the email I'm typing right now (and yours) off by heart. It is extremely common for very talented and motivated students to spend 3, 6 or 12+ months after graduation working around the clock on their showreels before they get their first studio job. And I'm not talking about the class clown here- I'm talking about very talented and motivated people who make it into junior positions working at the feature film level. It's actually uncommon for someone to graduate and walk right into a great full time junior role at a studio. You will meet the class clown 3 years after graduation working at Bunnings.

What no'one tells you when you're in school is that it's not enough just to graduate. It's not nearly enough. Graduation means nothing. All graduation means to employers is that you passed every subject of a likely bogus curriculum, and everything else including how employable you are is a variable. Which is why recruitment of juniors at studios is all about the quality of your showreel, not your qualification. Standout students are almost always the most dedicated and proactive students who push their skills 500% past what is covered in class (literally), and they usually specialize in an area that lines up with a real focused job role, not a fantasy generalist role.

You have to self teach yourself as an aspiring artist trying for their first job in this industry, you cannot simply do your 40 hours of 3D class and expect to be ready to work. Even if you school is great, 3D and VFX (to say nothing of Graphic and web design) are simply too broad and too complex to be effectively serviced by a single course, even in 3 or 4 years. Trying to teach software and skills referring to all of these careers at once, in just 1 or 2 years, is usually a suicide mission where the only hope is aggressive self teaching or charity from an employer in the form of training after graduation.

Internships like you described are rare. NO studio is interested in taking unemployable students under their wing for 6 months whilst they continue their studies, and you are very naive and disconnected from the reality of this industry if you actually expect anyone to be interested in that deal just because you are a graduate. Graduates are a dime a dozen. There are internships available, the VFX placement scheme is a great one if you are in NSW. However the competition is so fierce for these places that the people who get them were often already employable as juniors at a feature level before they got it, and have already developed very strong skills in their chosen specialty and their showreels demonstrate this.

The best advice you can be given at this point is to choose a real-life job role that interests you and focus your time developing the skills needed to do that job role very well from day 1. DO NOT split your time over 4 separate career paths, this is the highway to fail-town. If you contacted every studio around and no'one replied that means your reel is not good enough to get peoples attention, and you need to start aggressively improving it. (Please tell me you know that a showreel is essential... if not the people running your training should be instantly fired). Do not apply to studios without marketing yourself toward a specific (and real!) job role or roles that you can demonstrate some kind of aptitude for with your showreel. No'one wants to employ a grad who knows a tiny bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing. Such people are a financial burden and require 6 months of training in specific job role(s) before they will be useful, which is a shit deal for studios.

You mentioned that you were waiting for studios to ask you to send your portfolio- remember most grads are not good enough to actually be in the running for a studio job, so don't waste their time with spam correspondence- apply with your reel/portfolio from the word go. No'one has time to waste chasing up possible leads on junior artists who will most likely turn out to suck anyway. The fact that you are not applying properly in the first place telegraphs the fact that you don't have even a basic awareness of how this industry works and how much competition you are up against, which will be a red flag to studios regarding your application.

I'm sorry to read that you were fired from your first job because you couldn't do the work at the level required. A similar thing happened to me in my first 3D job and it was a very tough experience, but it turned out to be a bump in the road that made me stronger. Hopefully you will look back a few years from now and see this as a bump in the road. I'm sure it wasn't personal, this industry can sometimes be very tough on new grads unfortunately.

A while back David posted this link to a PDF called The Core Skills of VFX which looks at what studios really want from junior staff ~ www.skillset.org There is a section in there called The VFX Core Skills Student Primer, page 9 (5) that any current or recently graduated student could learn allot from. Not to mention most schools.

I know this email might seem really harsh, but this is the reality that most people on the other side of the wall understand to be true, but most schools actively hide from their students (even if that is just a lie of omission). Unfortunately many schools survive by selling courses to students that are very disconnected from the reality of the graduate employment situation, and they rely on the ignorance of students and the complexity of the field to keep doing this year after year. Such schools keep students like you in the dark on purpose because it makes you easier to handle, less likely to ask searching questions about the time-wasting curriculum and more likely to keep signing up for additional years of training which keeps the cash flowing in.

Having said all that, many students are lazy, unmotivated and lack the passion and proactivity to make good artists anyway, and students who passively hitch their wagon to the education train and hope to be somewhere at the end of the line deserve to fail. There are too many passionate people trying to get in, and the nature of this industry is too aggressive and too demanding for such people to really make a big contribution anyway. So make sure you are not one of those people and start educating yourself in every possible way and aim to be the best junior candidate around, don't just rely on a school to teach you everything.

Good luck with everything, hope that helped and wasn't too harsh.

Making ochre paint by hand

I decided that I should make some of my own pigments. Ochre seemed like a good start, as it should be relatively easy to access and make, and the colour will last indefinitely.

I found a rock with a nice rich colour:

Ground it up:

And put it in a jar:

Before adding linseed oil and using it in this painting, dog chasing a roo:

Dog Chasing a Roo - Oil and Ochre on Canvas

I used it in the dirt and roo. It did a decent job and really helped get the earthy colours I was after. The main issue was that I didn't grind it finely enough, and sand grains are visible in places. Not such a problem for the dirt, but I'd prefer to not have a sandpaper-ish surface for most other uses. 

I also used too much linseed oil - I'd recommend using as little oil (or whatever medium/binder/vehicle you choose) as possible to achieve a paste. Add more oil as required when painting. Mixing with other colours is a good idea, as whatever they've put in the commercial stuff helps hold it all together. I may experiment with something like Art Spectrum Oil Mediums in the future to make it more stable on its own.

Not bad for a first attempt I guess. I'm just glad it worked at all.

UPDATE 10/10/2011:

I've improved the process quite a lot:

Making ochre paint by hand part 2 - Improving the pigment

Digitally Painted Birthday Invitation

Last year I decided to make up a special birthday invitation card for my girlfriend's birthday. I got her to pose, took a photo as a reference, then painted her and invented a dress and glass.

Birthday Invitation

So I was a bouncer at a strip club

This is a story I originally posted on Bullshido a few years ago. Thought I might as well re-post it here. I often don't capitalise when I'm writing on the net. Call it laziness if you like.


it's my hope that you can take something new away from this story and that i can give a slightly different perspective on the street fight. at least, different to how so many stories are usually written involving fights.

------------------

i was a security guard for roughly one year. i worked in a variety of situations, from watching for shoplifters in retail stores, to assisting overdosed pill poppers at rave parties, to kicking people out of pubs as a bouncer. i'm going to tell you a story of one particular incident that happened towards the end of my year as a guard.

but first i want to talk about the people. people who visit pubs, go out partying and drinking and taking whatever else, spending the money they worked all week to make. really, they act like fucking animals. they urinate where they stand. the women vomit on their dresses and pull each others hair. men bristle and stick their chests out as they walk past each other. they hunt each other for sex and violence, they want to fight and fuck. it's disturbing how people who walk around during the day as apparently normal human beings can become sociopaths at night. it's pathetic, and they sickened me with their behaviour.

so just like animals or children, they need to be supervised, need to be stopped from harming each other and themselves. for many jobs, this was my role. seriously, they can't even line up at a taxi rank without attacking each other. i worked at a few taxi ranks, and it's where i saw the most fights. before the local council started hiring us, basically the only people who could get a taxi were those who would fight their way to the front. about 2 weeks after quitting my job, a guy getting into a taxi was pulled out and got kicked to death at one of the old taxi ranks i used to work at. there was only ever one guard assigned to a rank, so you're often outnumbered in bad situations like this. all i can say is thank fuck i wasn't working there at the time.

on to the main story - easily the worst job i ever had was working as a bouncer at a strip club a few nights a week. i only did this one for a couple of months. as i said before, it wasn't long after this that i quit.

it was horrible, and it damn near drove me insane. it was affecting my everyday life. i found that it began to change my personality. i would go to bed feeling angry, and wake up feeling angry. i hated the people who would frequent it, i hated the manger, i hated the people who worked there, i hated the strippers, the verbal abuse, the physical incidents. i started this assignment only because i was garaunteed 4 shifts a week and higher pay.

usually we had two bouncers working at this place each night. in my opinion, at this place 2 men = desperately under-staffed. to make matters worse, usually on a sunday only one guard works there because it's pretty quiet.

well, this night it was incredibly fucking busy because tomorrow was a public holiday.

it began as normal, the excrement arriving to size me up as they walked in the door. this place attracted some dodgy people... anyways, i was standing by the front door, checking IDs as they walked in and chatting to people outside. a few hours went by without much going on. then one guy in particular was going on about his mate. he said that he was a great fighter and a bit crazy. one time he knocked out a copper for telling him not to smoke in a certain area. he had done kickboxing for a few years and was good at it. not very tall, curly blond hair, a bit of a nugget. he was really bragging.

then my buzzer went off, letting me know that there was some problem inside i had to attend to.

i went in, and incredibly, there was a man standing there yelling at one of the strippers who perfectly fit the description i had heard seconds earlier. i asked the stripper what was going on, she told me that this guy was acting like a dickhead and might need to be removed. i asked the bloke what the problem was.

(i want to explain at this point that i'm not in the least bit intimidating to look at, and i make no effort to be anything but nice. i would constantly get comments at work like "you should be working in a bank or something mate!" this can work for or against you. usually it's a good thing, but there are always peeps who would like to take advantage of what they perceive as weakness.)

he said that he had been ripped off for $5 bucks. he had bought some stripper tokens (these bloody things often caused trouble with the clients) and wanted his money back since he didn't want to use them. there had been some confusion at the bar, he didn't want to buy them in the first place.

but the club policy stipulated that the tokens were not refundable. i pretty much agreed with this guy that he'd been ripped off, but unfortunately it was my job to enforce their bullshit.

i said that i'd talk to the manager and see if we could get his $5 back. the manager said no. i went back to him and explained. he said he wasn't leaving until he got his money back. again, i went back to the manager, a crazy bitch who had dealt with too many arseholes in her life, which had turned her into an aggressive nutcase.. she ordered me to throw him out.

so i asked him to leave. he had been semi reasonable up to this point, but now he was losing it because i wouldn't negotiate. i said i'm really sorry, but he had to leave.

he had put his glass down during our talk, and i could see no friends of his nearby, which i was very happy about. either one of these factors could have made me bail out completely -

- i did exactly that a couple of weeks later while again facing someone on my own - i was asked to kick him out, but he just wouldn't put down that fucking glass, so i didn't touch him. just talked and talked and waited until help showed up about 30 minutes later. the guy either felt outnumbered or that he had made his point, whatever the fuck it was, and left. the manager wasn't happy about this and didn't want me back to work there, which was great since only the day before i'd told my boss that i was quitting the strip club after the weekend was over -

- many people have different motivations and ideas of what is the best outcome for this sort of situation. in my mind, working as a guard, the best outcome is essentially the safest one. that means safe for people, property, money, and my own body. if i felt that the risk was a little too high, screw it. my job wasn't worth my health.

other people see things differently.

i was debating with another guard one night who was known for having a hot temper and for getting into a lot of fights at work. i couldn't understand why he would act that way. he let me understand in pretty simple terms - he'd rather fight and possibly get hurt than go through the anger and frustration he felt for days, weeks afterwards. i think that explains a lot. he was solving a problem the best way he knew how, and i think that's how most people work. especially these fools who pick fights on the street. your life may suck, but if you can beat the shit out of someone who is smaller, weaker and doesn't want to fight in the first place, well at least you're better than someone at fighting.

back to the story. the guy had decided by now that he would try to intimidate me into giving him his $5. he pushed his forehead into my cheek while yelling at me. he probably would have preffered to be pushing into my forehead, but he was a little shorter than i. his face was twisted up like a growling dog.

i'd tried talking to him as best i could, but now it seemed that he was seriously thinking about hitting me . i was convinced that we were going to be fighting very soon whether i liked it or not, so i took the initiative.

he was right up in my face with his hands down, and i grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up so that his feet were just above the ground, then carried him through the front door of the strip club, over the footpath and on to the street. while i was doing this he didn't move much, i think he was a little shocked that i was the one who started the physical engagement. also, i think that perhaps he didn't think of it as a fight yet, because a punch hadn't been thrown. he wasn't sure what to do. this has happened to me a couple of times while grappling people.

hooking his legs with one of mine, i made sure that we immediately went to the ground, and i was on top. it's easier to just restrain someone than actually fight them.

so i was sitting on top of him, and he was fucking FURIOUS. i told him that i was going to let him up, but that he had to calm down first. he was grabbing at my shirt and basically trying to bench press me off. at this point my name tag had been ripped off and my watch was smashed.

he was screaming at me and wouldn't listen. i applied a forearm choke for a bit so i could get a word in. of course, as soon as i let go he spat more threats. i actually said "look mate, i'm being really nice, i could really hurt you right now. PLEASE calm the fuck down."

there was a weird moment where i removed my broken watch and threw it aside and he went quiet and said "was that mine?" i replied "no", and we went on as before.

he kept telling me to let him up. i explained that i didn't trust him and was worried that he might attack me so calm down and i'll let you up.

i realised that people in the crowd were calling me to let him up. i became concerned that if i didn't, then the other people might turn on me, and i'd be fighting a number of people instead of one. i felt it was important to keep them on my side.

plus, i still wanted to give this bloke a chance to walk away and not ruin the night any further for both of us. so i let him up.

i stood up and took a few steps back. he also got up and came straight at me, muttering something through clenched teeth. as he came in range and began to throw a punch i shot under it, grabbed him around the middle and did that simple takedown where you push their upper body with yours, move forward and hook a leg to bring them down (it's so much easier when they don't know how to sprawl).

in my mind things had gone past the point of no return. there was no more negotioation, no more chances. i thought, "that's it. fuck you. you're fucked".

i was again on top. he tried to roll over to his hands and knees and i let him, and took his back. i crossed my feet and squeezed my legs as wasn't worried about him trying to footlock me, and slapped on the rear naked choke. we rolled to our sides. i started to put on a body triangle but my boots were making it awkward so i didn't bother.

then he tried to punch me. i found it almost comical. he was really flailing away for a few seconds. it took roughly 15 seconds for him to go to sleep, but before then his mate who i'd been talking to just a couple of minutes ago was pulling my hair and i think he hit me, but i hardly felt it. it didn't last long and for some reason he went away (i found out later that a few people in the crowd had been holding his friend back, which was very lucky). i had a lump on my head afterwards, it might have been from that.

the bloke i was strangling went limp and i stood up. someone ran over and started shaking the guy to wake him. he was totally out, and i was worried that i may have put the strangle on for too long. i was about to put him in the recovery position when i noticed his friend charging at me - the fucking crowd had decided to set him loose to see what would happen.

so his friend comes at me in basically the same way as his mate and i change levels and clinch. he offers up a little more resistance than his friend so i stand up straighter while keeping underhooks. i managed to do some kind of strange trip thing which got him down pretty quick.

i ended up in a funny position in a sort of side control but with a foot underneath him. i can't quite remember how it looked, but the big boot i was wearing kept me stuck there, so i yanked my leg out and the boot slipped off (it had elastic sides, i bought them cos i'm lazy and don't want to tie/untie them every time i go to work and come home). i moved around to his other side, this time having a proper side control.

like his friend he attemped to get up by moving to his hands and knees, and again i took the back and started to strangle him, my one big black boot in contrast to the white sock on the other foot.

he started twisting in to face me, which was much smarter than the other lad's approach. but i kept control and the choke was on tight.

somehow i realised that he was trying to vomit. i loosened the grip a little bit and he spewed alcohol on to the road beside us. i let go completely to let him vomit and recover. he rolled over slowly and looked at me. his lips were blue, and he mumbled something incomprehensible. he really didn't look very good.

after that it gets a bit hazy, but shortly afterwards i was standing there watching the police and another guard from my company who had been called up from nearby. they must have arrived almost immediately after...? i'm not sure. i think the other guard got there during my caper with the second fellow, and then dealt with the first one who had probably recovered a bit.

while he was being pinned by the other guard, the first chap i choked out screamed "you're too scared to fight me, cunt!". i said "that WAS fighting mate", and he just went quiet.

the other dude was now standing up. i noticed that there was a large wet patch around his groin. i guess that when you're drunk with a full bladder being strangled unconscious it's hard to hold it in. it may also have happened before the rear naked choke, just because he was fighting as hard as he could to get me off him.

i remember my arm being really tired, i was glad i didn't have to use it any more. i probably didn't have to squeeze so hard to choke them out... but i was pretty pumped up i guess.

so the police are asking who the bouncer was, and they seemed a little surprised when they found out it was me. i explained that i was attacked while trying to lawfully remove someone from the premises, so had to place a restraining hold on these guys and they passed out. no more questions were asked.

the first chap was taken away by the police and fined $2000, the second one had taken off down the street and was screaming something, then disappeared.

i went back to work and finished my shift with scuffed boots and a few grazes. later on that night i narrowly missed getting into a couple more fights.

it was a very emotional night. this shift finished at 3am. in my car on the way home, i cried and punched the steering wheel. when i got home, i didn't get to sleep until about 7am. i'd cried and had trouble sleeping over events at work before, but this was a kind of breaking point. after this i became even more reluctant to touch anyone. i really didn't want any more.

a lot of guards i'd speak to would have similar problems with sleep after situations like that. some probably even have post traumatic stress disorder.

there was this other guard i was talking to one night while guarding some cars. he was a tough guy, a very capable guard, very nice and i enjoyed working with him. he'd been in the business for about 15 years and a lot of crazy situations. for some reason on this night he decided to open up to me.

he said that he was losing his mind. he said that he had been having mood swings, nightmares and would just start crying for no reason. like, he could be watching any show on TV and he'd cry. he was depressed and was on medication. i told him that he needed to quit this fucking job. he seemed reluctant, said he had a mortgage to pay. last i heard he was still working as a guard.

i think a lot of guards go through this kind of thing. if i'd stayed in the job that long i'd be a nutcase. if you can go through all that with any emotional scars, you're not normal.

but it's been more than a year since i quit that job, and i've been pretty happy since.

well, i guess that's the end of the story. thanks for reading.

Illustrations for the book "Distraction" by Damon Young

I illustrated the Australian version of this book - thumbnail-sized black and white images which appeared at the beginning of every chapter. The editions printed in other countries do not have my work in there (as far as I know).

Here's one of the drawings:

Illustration of Proust

And another which didn't make it into the final edit:

Sigmund Freud Illustration - Freud as a gimp

You can buy the Australian edition of the book here:

Dog chasing a roo - oil painting

Dog Chasing a Roo - Oil and Ochre on Canvas

This is my most recent painting. It was made to enter into the "Fur" art exhibition at Monstrosity Gallery in Sydney. It's 80cm x 55cm. Painted it on sturdy old canvas I actually made at uni about 7 years ago. There was originally a painted sketch on the cavas which looked pretty horrible and was never finished.

Part of it was painted with reddish-brown ochre paint which I made myself.

Some Digital Paintings

These were created to practice my Photoshop painting technique. Threw some ideas together for silly subject matter and started experimenting. Watched a few videos I found on www.conceptart.org.

If you're interested in learning, I'd really recommend purchasing some of these videos made by professional artists: theartdepartment.org/store

Drawings

Some sketches.

Oil Paintings from CSU in Wagga Wagga

These were completed while I studied Fine Arts at CSU in Wagga Wagga, and I still own most of them, plus another stack. All were created between around 2000-2004.